Friday, January 2, 2009

Ask Shadow: My Favorite Chair

Dear Shadow,
My owner is constantly sitting in my favorite chair. When she is out during the day, I get to sleep in it, but at night, she just picks me up and puts me on the floor. She doesn't even put me in another chair. Is she abusing me? What can I do?
Not Sitting Pretty,
San Francisco, CA

Dear Not,
This sounds like animal abuse to me! Unless you're able to get on the phone and call PeTA, I'd do the following: never let her sleep. Keep her up at all hours. Exhaust her in the middle of the night by bolting across her room in the dark. And if she locks you out, simply scratch on the door or knock things down in other rooms. Note: find a good hiding place to run to when all the lights come on. Humans can't see in the dark.